Saturday, December 31
walking past the 2005 boulevard is somehow shorter than how it really seems. some particular moments has been frozen forever in the chamber of memory and while some are best forgotten. well, i guess age does damage to people somehow. as much as i wanted to remember whether i was happy this year, i can't. was it last year or the year before?
as much as i can remember, it's been a hectic and stressful year. had a handful of f***-ups and a few good moments. i'd like to have something better in the years ahead. but i seriously doubt so.
if i could bring back something from yesterday, what would it be? laughter from the young, carefree years? luck that struck me donkey ages ago? a friendship that has silently retired into the shadows? or would i merely revisit the past, and take with me nothing, because the mere memory is enough? do i live everyday yearning for what is no more, or have i moved on and ready to embrace today?
No one's calling for me at the door.
And unpredictable won't bother anymore.
And silently gets harder to ignore.
Look straight ahead, there's nothing left to see.
What's done is done, this life has got it's hold on me.
Just let it go, what now can never be.
I forgot that I might see,
So many beautful things.
I forgot that I might need,
to find out what life could bring.
fUnK-p` dropped a tear at 12/31/2005 11:51:00 PM
when i was in jc, i told the my octet clique that i wanted to be a farmer. can u gals remember the *digging holes in the soil* action? ehh.. this is no joke okie! i used to picture myself living in a farm of some sort... plant vegetables and rear animals for a living. life is so much simpler this way. i can learn how to build my own chairs, tables.. feed the fishes in the ponds.. admire sunrise and sunset.. blanketed by the stars at night. ahhh....
ok back to reality.
when it comes to the real world, i actually have more than plenty to rant about.. not that i actually prefer some happily ever after bullshit. but come to think of it, i kinda love watching disney cartoons, tv series or movies for the happily ever after gibberish. hmph.
and yes, met up ponegard clique for steamboat @ marina last night :) a pity that yanming & mx cannot make it :(
sorry octet, i wasnt there for the dinner! *very, very apologetic look*
fUnK-p` dropped a tear at 12/31/2005 01:29:00 PM
Sunday, December 25
The results of your analysis say:
You like to be surrounded by four solid walls.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are not very reserved, impatient, self-confident and fond of action.
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.
okie.. this is somewhat true.. scary!
Your Aura is BlueYour Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor. What Color Is Your Aura? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |  |
fUnK-p` dropped a tear at 12/25/2005 11:54:00 PM
time really flies! before i knew it, eval's over!!! CHEERS!!! but still got one more week to go before the whole thing will come to an end.
life's been kind to me this week. can't believe that things took a 180 degree change at the end (i mean from the first week of dec till now). that conversation did change everything. prior to that, i prayed that my good fren (G) would talk to me to resolve our differences. and G really did. after the conversation, i was apprehensive that G can maintain that nice attitude towards me. eventually, G did! i'm thankful that things worked out fine :)
to G:
u once made my heart totally sunk to the bottom of my stomach cuz i feel so stchoopid and lousy. i have not done what i have been called to do. anyway, thank you for your guidance and ur xmas pressie (*ahem* i still very pissed at ur tactlessness). i'm thankful that u have changed ur attitude towards me and that u have made my life better. lol.
if life is like a game, friends are the significant players of the game, good friends that is. they are the influencial ones that control how the game flows and they will determine whether you win the battle or vice versa. however, these significant players can come and go without your control.
one minute they're your ally, and the other minute they might turn their back against you (not to mention stab you a few times) or they're just gone. yes, good fren?
Lost.
the thing about me is, i tend to do lot of dumb things. i like to make mistakes so that i can learn (yeah wat bullshit is this.) not that i intentionally fcuk things up but my logic is a little fcuked up so the things i do tend to be a little fcuked. so when i repeated fcuk things up, people start to scrutinise everything i do. have my good friends not be there in my life, i don't know what will happen to me.
the sad news is, G left. if i say i don't feel a thing, it must be a lie. G has been a great mentor to me. weird thing is, i never liked G at all when i first saw G. i hated G a lot. guess things changed. like wat mx said, though u dun like that someone at the beginning, u'll gradually see the good points of that person. G is one such example. i can say that G can be considered one of the most powerpack guru in my life. i have great respect towards G in some aspects. now that G is not here, i'm going to have a tough time again. at some point in everyone's life, i think it's good to have a friend/mentor/whoever to guide you along. G's is one of the person who can inject facts into my stubborn head. well, no point crying over spilled milk. oh well, maybe the next time i will meet G is 3 weeks later. LOL.
i nearly lost myself in god-knows-where when reality hits hard on me to pull me back...
celebrated CHRISTMAS in advance with the gals :)
friday, 23rd
as usual, our annual xmas gathering~
saturday, 24th
quartet met up at clarke quay, supposed to go settler's cafe. but in the end, all booked for reservation! hmph! okie nvm, then we landed up in some ulu fisherman's wharf to have fish and chips. damn cheap.. $6.50 nia! and the serving is damn big. only renz finished hers. lol.
we machiam tourists.. took quite alot of silly pics.. most of which are with gladys (cuz my cam batt died, as usual) we even planned for our CNY gathering le.. muahahahahaha!
last but not least,
fUnK-p` dropped a tear at 12/25/2005 05:05:00 AM
Saturday, December 17
i cried on my way back on friday. it was the worst day of the week. damn suay la. WHY did those things happen to me?
this coming week is gonna be the last week i gonna have with my good fren. i hope things will go on smoothly till end of this fri, or even till the last day of dec.
met up with meaty and hippy for dinner last nite :) we were all bothered by the terrible experiences of the real world. i conclude that these grp of pple we are encountering with are damn tactless.
then meaty and me watched
the long-awaited movie~
this movie is not as touching as wat i have expected.
Perhaps Love is machiam a chinese version of Moulin Rouge. zhou xun and takashi's chemistry is really nice~ as for the songs, the melodies are quite bland. only 2 songs were not too bad - jacky cheung's "Perhaps Love" and the drama-mama song where the girls went "Ai mei you~ hen mei you~".
zhou xun - she's definitely a splendid actress! great acting + great eyes! she excels in her role, turning icy and passionate within a split second.
takashi kaneshiro - dashing (as he always is). he can't look ugly no matter how they try to disguise him as a nerd or watsoever.
jacky cheung - ge shen! fantastic vocals! need i say more?
mr korean man - no comments. eye candy nia la.
when korean man started his song in the initial part of the movie, i was laffin damn hard! cuz i thought it was kinda cheesy. LOL. thought the movie gonna turn into a comedy and i would laff thru'out the show. haha! uhhh... instead, i fell asleep during some parts of the show lo. (dammit.. shouldnt have watched the show at nite -_-''')
in the movie, kaneshiro's character is filled with love's torment and he pined for zhou xun for a decade. there's alot of water scenes with him trying to "drown" out the nightmares in his mind. quite interesting la. i like the one that looked like he was crying underwater... looks painful.
i was wondering who will the female lead choose? who she loves? but the bottomline is..
is she worthy of love?
(i dun think so.)
hmm.. the plot of the movie actually not too bad la. jus that the ending is no good. think wats significant is that how it makes one realise wat he/she has missed and lost along his/her life when memories are dug up and laid opened to. so, it should make one appreciate and cherish these memories and not lose themselves again.
memories are just memories and should best remain as such..
to meaty: i would have love the show more if we watch it at Princess. cuz it will cost cheaper. LOL!
this morning chionged back to skool library at around 12plus to return my lib books cuz i realise my fine has reached $7.20.. oh man. saw silver at the skool gate and then minmin in the lib. heez.. so happy! took bus home with minmin and chatted abt our unpleasant experiences. so many similarities! jus that her good fren is botak, my good fren got hair. heez!
then met up meilay and helena for lunch at cartel :))) but too bad, we didnt bring cam :( quite interesting today! keep eating and eating~ and for the first time, our topic revolved around family issues. hmmph. we should continue with that some other time okiez. i'm waiting for part 2!
fUnK-p` dropped a tear at 12/17/2005 10:09:00 PM
Monday, December 12
stressed.
so much work to do.
my good fren is simply tactless.
-urgent-
anyone noes where i can buy a candle holder?? pls let me noe okiez! thanks alot :)
fUnK-p` dropped a tear at 12/12/2005 09:24:00 PM
Thursday, December 8
i'm really on the brink of giving up. losing faith and hope in watever i do. i can't see a way out. those encouragements "dun give up easily, otherwise u'll be letting yourself down", "dun give up at the critical moment, desperation will turn into hope" "u can do it if u try harder" kinda stuff are bullshit. they dun seem to work on me anymore.
i feel stupid and dumb. i dun like this feeling.
i wanna be a happy happy girl... but how?
wat to do with my life?
fUnK-p` dropped a tear at 12/08/2005 11:26:00 PM
Saturday, December 3
special thanks to the following:
- yiqi the 大厨~ 我们都看走眼了，她才是我们的妈咪！LOL*
- helena the 二厨, she assists yiqi in all aspects except for cooking! haha!
- stella & carrie who fought a tough battle with the crabs and peeled prawns for all of us! heez~!
carrie, yiqi, me & meilay
in the bus~
taa-daa!
i'm lookin forward to our next meeting!!
fUnK-p` dropped a tear at 12/03/2005 05:20:00 PM
Friday, December 2
finally had my karaoke session with jtian on wed at kster... this is my shiok-est one ever! she's the only person i feel truly comfortable singing ktv with. hahahhahahaha! this woman calls me up everyday since primary 5 or 6. so we've been on the phone almost everyday for abt 8 years? heez! ehhh... but the thing is, we havent watched a movie together before >_<''' LOL. the ponekard clique had our one-week-before-skool-reopen outing last nite :) went marche for dinner... a pity that we didnt take any pics of ourselves in marche cuz we were too busy eating and talking.. LOL =P
only got pics of the food.. haha!
then walked around town.. heez! went for hk style desserts at liudashan... this time got pics.. lol*
first group pic of the nite :)
on our way home...
the gals in green... nice~
fUnK-p` dropped a tear at 12/02/2005 03:34:00 PM
